You know most of the time, I really am doing fine and I feel like I can walk this road with some grace, hope and determination. I get through most days feeling content and happy and a tear is never shed. Today, however, it's been hard. I had my follow up with the surgeon to go over the pathology reports from last week's surgery. "There was some cancer found in one of the six lymph nodes." Gulp, swallow, &%$@#! Really? I tried to keep my composure as my kind-hearted surgeon continued to talk (and really began to sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown cartoons). I couldn't do it....my eyes welled up with tears...
My surgeon continues to be extremely positive, hopeful and confident that the Big C can be treated and cured. I have complete faith in his word. Today, though, I just wanted to rewind to my life before the Big C. This life I am living is just too darn scary at the moment and I don't always feel fit to play the part.
Today, I have had to make a conscious effort to really look at the positives. It was only in one lymph node, the mass was actually smaller than originally thought, I'm healing well from my surgery and feeling good....I can do this.
I've really never been into climbing mountains, but I intend on facing this one head on and scaling it. I will move forward and conquer this, but in doing so, I may have my momentary falls from grace...
“Gracefulness has been defined to be the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul” | |
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment